Last week, I managed to catch up with professional quote maker Aalewis at a Starbucks cafe in down town San Francisco. The world-renowned intellectual had just flown into town to promote his best selling book "From amateur to professional. The journey of a quote maker." Thankfully, he managed to squeeze me into his busy schedule so that I could ask him some questions.


So, I guess you can say that you've finally made it?
I can hardly believe it, to be honest. I never once thought that I would make it as a professional quote maker. It's a tough game and there's a lot of competition out there, especially from those old dead fucks. It has taken eight and a half years of formal training to get to this point and I've had to make a lot of sacrifices a long the way.

I presume that you're happy you made those sacrifices?
He tips his fedora and winks at me, before saying: I guess you can say that I'm in a total state of euphoria.

Ha ha, oh man; if I was gay I'd probably ask you to marry me right now.
I'd have to say no, unfortunately. There are far too many fair maidens out there who would be completely heartbroken if I were to pursue the pleasures of homosexual sex.

Oh, so you've got women chasing after you?
Well... yea, of course. I mean, I don't really want to brag or anything... but I've actually got three Waifus on the go at the moment. And each one of them has a distinctively Japanese-sounding name.

Where did you purchase them?
No... no... no... I would never ever purchase such a thing. Do I look like the kind of guy who would condone the commercialism of love? No... I made them myself using the best cotton that I could find.

Heh, good on you man! Tell me, what was it like to see your quote blow up like that?
Oh, it was just surreal. One minute, I'm posting a random quote to the atheism subreddit on Reddit. The next, I'm being bombarded by replies from people telling me that my quote changed their lives.

So, what's next for you?
Well, at the moment, me and a couple of scientist Atheists are in the process of setting up a group to lobby Congress. Basically, we feel that the government should be rounding up Xtians into large scale "Christian Camps" so that we can properly diagnose and contain the disease that they have.

What is the name of this disease?
We named it "Phony God's Blessing Disorder", after my inspirational quote. To sum it up, it is a disorder that makes people believe in an invisible sky monster. Sometimes, those affected with this disease will actually "talk" to an invisible God that doesn't even exist. It's an extremely sad affliction to witness.

As the son of parents who have this disease, I thank you!
No problem. I'm just doing my bit, y'know! Anyway, it has been nice chatting to you, but I need to leave now. In about 10 minutes or so, I have to make a key note speech at the local quote maker's society.

Thanks for giving us some of your time!
Y-you too.




3 comments:

  1. Are there any publishing companies that have looked into publishing this genuis's current works into a multi volume set? I love A.A.Lewis' work, but I can't find much beyond his smash hit "In this moment I am Euphoric". He's been at it for 8 years, he should have enough to fill several books. Anyway, until then, I tip my fedora to this genuis of science.

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    1. Publishing? Multi-volume set? Do you think that Aalewis is a corporate sheep or something? That he cares about profits?

      In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any profiteering. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.

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  2. Nice interview, Eh?

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