Minnesota native Ethan Lewis shocked message board readers last night when he proclaimed that American actress Scarlett Johansson "isn't that attractive." "To be honest, she's about a 2/10 at best", stated the 25 year old, who describes himself as being a "pivotal figure" in the bimonthly Minneapolis Renaissance Faire. "I don't understand why so many men are attracted to women like her. If she was standing in front of me right now, I'd scoff at her attempts to seduce me and walk away."

Scarlett Johansson
When asked to elaborate on why he thinks that the award-winning actress is a paltry 2/10, Lewis responded by saying that he wasn't interested in girls who fit the mainstream definition of attractiveness. "Most of these celebrity females are vapid wenches that actively contribute to the mindless MTV culture that we have today. Me? I'd much prefer somebody that can stimulate me on an intellectual level. Maybe even somebody that likes Pokemon and enjoys gaming."

When asked if he had a girlfriend, the Minnesotan-born gentlesir said that he wasn't interested in pursuing "organic women." "Why would I bother with the women of this generation when they dress like prostitutes and wear far too much make-up? I'd rather stick it out with my waifu Kazumi, who I've been in a spiritual relationship with for the past three years. At least she actually understands me."


  1. 2/10 would not bang. just look at those pointy elbows