Every now and again, we receive emails from troubled readers that have somehow mistaken us for people who give a shit. Unfortunately for us, our marketing guy, Dave, felt that we should try and "make a cohesive effort to leverage the situation." I conceded, but only after he promised me that I could call it "Agony Uncle", and not "Agony Aunt". For far too long, feminists have had a monopoly over advice. This changes today.

Le fundie mother appears. Atheist uses logic!


I sneezed last night and my girlfriend's fundie mother reacted by saying "bless you". After I told her that she was a crazy fundamentalist bitch for believing in invisible sky monsters, her husband completely overreacted to the situation by ordering me to leave his house. Before I slammed the door, I managed to out-wit him by shouting "you can't fucking own property, you stupid capitalist sheep!" Anyways - since the debate, my girlfriend has refused to reply to any of my text messages. What could be the problem?
MarxNotNarks

To be honest, it sounds as if she and her family are still trying to process the philosophical significance of your statement about the ownership of property. As I write this, they are probably sitting around the table and exchanging their personal views on the topic of dialectical materialism. Later on, after they've fully consumed the Marxist material that they've checked out of the local library, they'll invite you over and thank you for opening their eyes.

Underachiever...


y does ur website suck so much? ur not even funny. just go ahead an die already
funDIEslayer67

Quality content is the tell-tale sign of a heartless profit-driven corporation that employs a team of qualified journalists. I could have gone to university and earned myself a fancy degree in journalism, but I was too much of an under-achiever in high school. Don't get me wrong - I am an extremely intelligent person. It's just that complacency can creep in when your IQ is as prodigious as mine.

Mastering the fedora tip...


Greetings, my fellow gentlesirs! I really love the website that you have here! It's a nice breath of fresh air from the MSM and the tripe that they try to shove down our throats on a daily basis! Anyway - On to my question! Last Friday, I purchased a vintage Borsolino's fedora hat and although I love how classy it makes me look, I have to say that my wrist is starting to hurt from all of the tipping that I've been doing. Yesterday, I walked through a university campus and saw hundreds of fair maidens that were ripe for courtship. I walked by so many of them that I must have tipped my hat at a rate of about 10 tips per minute. So much in fact that my wrist required an ice pack afterwards. Does this get any easier? Please see attached. It's a picture of me in my new hat.
Jeremy




Oh, Jeremy. You're just like many of the other novice fedora users that attend my workshop. Did you really think that you could become a master gentlesir over the course of a few days? These things take time and effort and I think it's fair to say that you haven't been pacing yourself. When starting off with a fedora, your tipping must be slow and extended. For an absolute beginner, I usually recommend that they keep it to about 10 or 15 tips per day. MAX! That way, you can build up the required muscles and focus on your form. Remember: Rome wasn't built in a day and this is a sport that requires practice!





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