"I'm excited about the changes that we plan on making", sneered the immoral businessman, as a sizeable amount of outraged gentlesirs in the audience began to hurl anti semitic slurs at him. "For far too long, what we drink and what we share with our friends online have been two very different things. In the very near future, I intend to change all of that."
As Facebook stormtroopers maced and mercilessly beat the group of brave neckbeards that had shown up to protest the change of ownership, Zuckerberg laughed and pointed, before instructing the security guard beside him to "go and kick that fat ass with the Slayer t-shirt in the face." After the fracas had died down and the last unconscious protester had been dragged out of the conference hall, the Internet entrepreneur smirked and returned to outlining his nefarious plans for the soft drink.
After being quizzed about his plans for Oculus Rift, the virtual reality head-mounted display that Facebook purchased a couple of days ago, Zuckerberg laughed and said "I had actually forgotten about that. I'll probably let the technology rot, to be honest. Time spent playing silly games is time that users could have spent viewing advertisements on my website."