MILLIONS of anime fans were fearing the worst last night after it emerged that a man in his early twenties had been friendzoned by his own waifu. Jackson West, a freshman university student from the state of Indiana, made the distressing announcement on a popular Otaku-themed video blog after his beloved waifu decided to call it quits on their two-month-long relationship.

"It is with a heavy heart that I have to tell you this", said West, as he struggled to hold back tears. "Last night, mai waifu, Kazami Yuka, made it painfully clear to me that she sees me as more of a friend than a lover." After sobbing uncontrollably for three or four minutes, the self-described "anime connoisseur" went on to tell startled viewers that he had "no idea that such a thing was even possible." "How on earth did I manage to get friendzoned by an imaginary Japanese character?!", shouted an angry West, as the tears continued to stream down his face. "How did I not see this coming!?"

As news of the friendzoning began to spread across the Internet, many commentators were quick to register their fear that other waifus around the world would follow suit. "This is like some kind of nightmare", stated one anonymous poster on 4chan's popular anime board. "Not only do we have to put up with the friendzoning crap that organic women put us through - Now there's a good chance that our own waifus will subject us to the exact same pain and heart ache!"




9 comments:

  1. m'waifu would never do something like that

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  2. Next thing you know, our right hands will be friendzoning us!

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    1. Having to creep up on it, just to be able to masturbate, should be a clue that your hand is friendzoning you.

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  3. Having played Lotus Land Story, I can say that he's lucky he was friendzoned and not, y'know, Master Sparked into oblivion.

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  4. "How on earth did I manage to get friendzoned by an imaginary Japanese character?!"

    Clearly she left him because he referred to her as imaginary. Any true enlightened gentlesir knows that m'waifu is just as real as the friendzoning slutbitches at school.

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  5. This is hilarious. You want your "waifus" to be so real that you are trying to make them act as real as possible. It's you dumping yourself. You have pain and sorrow burrowed up so much that you cannot trust yourselves with someone sincere. You are scared to make mistakes. There is someone real for everyone! What do you think those characters are based on? But it is even more lovely because they are even more deeply eccentric. You never know what they will say and it is heartwarming to hear something new. Don't you want someone to be real and express your emotions to them? I know your just going to lash out at the comment section because your just hiding emotions yourself and like... being Tsundere and shit. Its okay to go out and find someone else tsundere!

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    1. M'lady, you are a true diva roach and a proto-atheist. I bow before your dorito dew and your no-scopes as well as the abundance of marijuana as well as anonymous skillz.

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  6. Wait, wait, wait... Kazami Yuka Chan? she was dating me!!!.

    Oh my... whyyyy?, wwhhhyyyy!? my life is ruined.

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