Today, US President Barack Obama signed into law a measure that will prevent "girl gamers" from referencing their gender in online multiplayer games. While speaking from the White House press room, President Obama told reporters that the new "E-burqa law" will make it illegal for female gamers to announce their gender or use "female-orientated" keywords in their gamertags.

hot girl gamer
"SummerGirl... LusciousLips... Maria... They're all examples of the type of attention-whoring nonsense that we will be clamping down on", stated a resolute Obama. "Any attempt to circumnavigate this new legislation will result in a heavy fine and a short-but-memorable stint in prison." When asked if a woman could be prosecuted for speaking through her microphone, the president was quick to reassure everyone that it was perfectly legal for a woman to use her headset, "provided she speaks in a low monotone voice that doesn't give away her gender."

In an effort to gauge people's views on the new legislation, we at Neckbeard News decided to "take to the streets" by logging onto XBox Live, where we got to interview people in-game:

What are your opinions on the new E-Burqa law?


"I'm all for it, man. I mean, if you think about it, girls who use words such as 'princess' and 'jennifer' in their gamertags are obviously just doing it for the attention. In my opinion, it's not right as the whole girl gamer thing completely degrades the integrity of the gaming community, which is something that we gamers have built up over the years. In fact, if you really want my opinion on the matter, I think that Obama should go one step further and—Hold on just a sec while I quickscope this nig*erfa*g real quick. W-WHAT?! WHAT THE F**K! OH DUDE! DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU F**KING SEE THAT? HOW THE F**K DID THAT CAMPING SP*C B**TARD MANAGE TO KILL ME WHEN I SHOT HIM FIRST?"
SirJames87

Do you think that the E-Burqa law is a good thing?


"I think that your mom is a good thing, you p*ssy-ass fa*got."
MasterBigBalls

Do you think the new law is sexist?


"Of course not. I find it funny how feminists are so quick to call things sexist. Think about it for a second. Here, we have a bunch of self-entitled women who want to turn online gaming into some sort of place where they can be worshipped by a bunch of white knights. It's ridiculous - why not just choose a gender neutral gamertag, instead of trying to draw attention to your femininity? You know, it's funny - For decades, we were called nerds for pursuing our obscure gaming interests. Now, they wan't to be apart of it all? Well f**k that, man. F**k that!"
ManlyManMan

More to follow as we get it...




10 comments:

  1. fuck obama and his bullshit infringement on the freedom of speech law...

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    1. you know this whole thing is a joke? Nothing on this website is real.

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    2. Truthfully though, the "girl gamers" who have stuff like "Princess" and whatever in their gamer tags really are just looking for attention. Most of the time they don't even play video games, they just think that's what guys want.

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    3. Isn't about time we impeach this stupid ape? Who even let one of them in the whitehose? It's called the whitehouse for a reason democrats.

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    4. you spelled great wrong you fool

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  2. This... is actually a pretty great idea.

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  3. I'd vote for him if this were real.

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