LAST NIGHT, an unnamed hero struck back against the corporate greed that has been plaguing Amerikka by carrying out an armed robbery on a Walmart store in Redding, California.

According to several witnesses, the suspect was an unshaven man in his 30s or 40s. "The good sir had a black handgun and he was wearing tan shorts and a vintage fedora", said one bystander. "You could tell by his classy attire that he knew how to dress like a proper gentleman."

While speaking to one of our reporters at Neckbeard News, one Walmart employee said that he was "supportive" of the suspect's "brave decision to fight back against the corporatocracy." "Personally, I'm just sick of seeing armed robbers wearing swag-fag regalia. It was a breath of fresh air to be robbed by somebody who isn't just another mindless consumerist-driven sheep. It was awe-inspiring to see him tipping his fedora at the female shop attendants as he was exiting the store."

Redding Police Chief Robert F. Paoletti, who is a well-known mouthpiece for the 1%, said that the suspect should be considered "armed and dangerous."




2 comments:

  1. I'm just sad that this hero has done is considered a "crime". He should be awarded the purple heart for his bravery.

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  2. Will NN do anything on the hero, Elliot Rodgers?

    ReplyDelete