While bone-headed jocks around the world were watching rich celebrities from different nations kick a spherical object around the pitch, we at Neckbeard News were in Denver, Colorado, where we got to witness the Men's Rights movement pulling off a shock win at the annual Oppression Olympics.

"I honestly can't believe it!", shouted MRA team captain William Bailey, as he held the prestigious Oppression Trophy in his arms. "For a moment, I thought the blacks or the feminists were going to run away with it. Thankfully, we kept our concentration and we continued to battle hard. At the end of the day, it's a pretty simple game. Focus all of your efforts on feeling oppressed and the points will come naturally."

When asked if he would be staying with the Men's Rights Activists, Bailey stated that he wanted to talk with the club before making any final decisions. "You know, I've been hearing a lot of rumours in the media about how I'm going to be joining the Child Free Community or the Atheists. However, rumours are rumours and nothing is set in stone until the club and I have actually sat down to discuss my contract. For now, I just want to enjoy the win and revel in my oppression."

Despite some of the specular displays of oppression at this years championship, the event was somewhat marred by scenes of violence at the semi-final game between the Israelis and the Palestinians.


  1. They won, but they were disqualified for having white priviledge.